The 2008 Darwin Award Winners

The 2008 Darwin Awards are distributed with the idea, that well, natural selection should take care of the idiots in the world. Not the most humane approach, but humorous none-the-less!

Here is the glorious winner:

1.When his 38-calibre revolver failed to fire at his intended victimduring a hold-up in Long Beach , California , would-be robber JamesElliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down thebarrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

And now, the honourable mentions:

2.The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cuttingmachine and, after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to hisinsurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of itsmen to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost afinger. The chef's claim was approved.

3.A man who shovelled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car duringa blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman hadtaken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4.After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driverfound that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transportingfrom Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit hisincompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyonewaiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to themental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitableand prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3days.

5.An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious headwounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received theinjuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how closehe could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6.A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter,and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the manpulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerkpromptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled,leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he gotfrom the drawer... $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives youmoney, is a crime committed?]

7.Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided thathe'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab somebooze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over hishead at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-bethief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window wasmade of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

8.As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbedher purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman wasable to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Withinminutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the carand drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car andtold to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes,officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

9.The Ann Arbour News crime column reported that a man walked into aBurger King in Ypsilanti , Michigan , at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, anddemanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn'topen the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onionrings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man,frustrated, walked away.. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]

10.When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on aSeattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrivedat the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home nearspilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to tryingto steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home'ssewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to presscharges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.